“Nice try Mom. Why don’t you just tell me that you want to see Erika naked and not me. This is seriously so messed up. Just because I keep my lady garden perfectly manicured, you think I can’t relate to a bunch of women with giant, unkept bushes. This is EXACTLY the kind of shit that drives families apart!”
I only have one boob. This is completely indicative of my personality even in utero. Like I guarantee fetus me was super-duper focused on designing my future tits. And then …
Lisa: Did you know our vaginas are atrophying as we speak? Erin: Duh. This is why I suffer from anxiety. I lie awake every night worrying about my old vagina. …
Erin: (Laying on Lisa’s table getting face lasered) “Ow. That fucking hurts. Are you about to start your period? Based on the joy you are eliciting from afflicting pain on …
A few days ago, I posted a picture on Facebook of me completely crashed out, facedown on my couch. I can fall asleep anytime/anywhere, including, but not limited to: parking …
