Cheek Swab

Mike and I used to live on some property out in the middle of nowhere.  I am not altogether a huge nature fan, but we had cable and my family couldn’t find me, so I was relatively fine with this arrangement until we decided to start reproducing.  It did not take me long to figure out traveling long distances with a toddler is a pain in the ass and that Mother Nature hates this part of the country, so often I was stuck at home.

Around the time I was hugely pregnant with our second child, we had this darling little Vietnamese mailman.  Quang knew I was a captive animal that longed to be free, mingling with the rest of my species.  Graciously, he would often bring the mail up to the door and bless me with human contact about the same time Mike would be getting home every day.   Mike would then make the same predictable joke about wanting a DNA test when the baby was born and we would go eat dinner.

So right after I had our daughter, I had just settled into my hospital room when I had my very first visitor, my father.   My dad came into the room and proudly picked up his newest granddaughter and stared at her with tears in his eyes.  Mike quickly grabbed the video camera and I eagerly waited for the praise to start flowing from his lips for this magnificent creature that had just emerged from my womb.  And at last it came, “Oh my God Erin, she is just beautiful.  Her eyes are incredible, she almost looks Asian.”  The last scene of that video is me calling the nurse for more painkillers.  XO

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