Family Latest Life Motherhood

Dear Daughters

Dear Daughters,

I know you are all at ages where listening to me is utterly monotonous. I get it. Trust me, Dad has felt it for 15 long years. However, I am asking you to read this and then you can go right back to your phones, iPads, and laptops.

I have loved each of you unconditionally since the first time I laid eyes on you. There is nothing you can ever say or do that will change this. Nothing. It is a done deal. A sacred contract made before we came into existence. You.Are.Loved. You were born into a family who also loves you. A family who will rally you, champion you, celebrate you, grieve with you, and do everything in their power to ensure you always know You Are Loved.

This summer has taught us some things. We played, traveled, relaxed and laughed. We also experienced unthinkable loss, whether personally or by word of mouth. As your mother, I want to block and absorb every hurtful or harrowing experience that comes your way. I also know, this is neither possible nor advantageous to you as human beings.

You are already learning love and pain have very specific purposes. You cannot have one without the other, as they are the single greatest teachers of self. You come from something far more extraordinary (I realize this is hard to conceptualize. It blew my mind as well because I am preeeetty awesome) than me. In fact, every single human being on this planet has. And this is why we must tread gently because no person has, or will ever, walk this earth unscathed.

You have seen or soon will see your classmates drink, do drugs, have sex, harm themselves, hang with the wrong crowd, seek attention in dangerous ways… This is just how strong the primitive need to feel loved, to belong and avoid feeling pain is. You have felt it yourselves when others have said unkind words to you or hurt you in some way. That little lump in your chest or the pit that forms in your stomach, is your spirit trying to get your attention. It is telling you something is off. Heed to this calling.

If you see your classmates being bullied, left out, or hurting…be brave and go to them. Include them. Extend kindness. This simple act can make a monumental difference in someone’s life. And if you do not feel compelled to help them for whatever reason, this is also okay. We are not always called to intervene with every situation. Tell someone you trust instead. It matters babies. I swear to you.

And if by chance, things ever become dark, or a sense of helplessness, or despair come your way, I will come for you. I cannot shield you from life, but I will soldier up and go through whatever it is with you. You are supposed to be here and we will crawl our way out together if we have to, inch by painful inch until we find light again. You are never alone and You Are Loved.

I am almost finished so suck it up and keep reading. Now, Dad and I do expect you do your best in school because this teaches you work-ethic, accountability, builds confidence and gives one of you, in-state tuition… Having said that, we don’t care if you are a star athlete, the prettiest, the smartest, the funniest, the greatest mathematician, the most brilliant of writers…. Pressure’s off. We do not give a shit. Lucky you.

There is nothing you can ever do that will make us love you less, so you might as well be authentically you. Go create greatness in this world. I love you all. So much.

XO, Mom/Wicked Stepmother

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1 Comment

  1. Kris Barber says:

    I love your motherhood!

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