Broc- GOD!!! Nice to see you again! (Runs up to God to smell crotch) God- Broccoli! You returned right on schedule! You lived a long life on earth my friend. …

Broc- GOD!!! Nice to see you again! (Runs up to God to smell crotch) God- Broccoli! You returned right on schedule! You lived a long life on earth my friend. …
It has been two weeks since my mom’s cat, Mr. Whiskerpuss, passed away. My mom was utterly devastated, sooooo I took it upon myself to find her another obscenely expensive, …
Me: I am going to find new homes for Vinnie and Pearl. I am the ONLY thirty-four year old woman I know that has pet lizards. The kids have NOTHING …