“Nice try Mom. Why don’t you just tell me that you want to see Erika naked and not me. This is seriously so messed up. Just because I keep my lady garden perfectly manicured, you think I can’t relate to a bunch of women with giant, unkept bushes. This is EXACTLY the kind of shit that drives families apart!”
I only have one boob. This is completely indicative of my personality even in utero. Like I guarantee fetus me was super-duper focused on designing my future tits. And then …
As cute as it is to tell people that I wrote an entire book in my closet, I finally decided that it was time to rent an actual grown up office space.
