Yesterday, I finished working out with #PaleoJesus (my personal trainer, to whom I awarded this moniker after I decided he probably adhered to a strict Paleo diet and is totes …
My Mission For New Boobs
I only have one boob. This is completely indicative of my personality even in utero. Like I guarantee fetus me was super-duper focused on designing my future tits. And then …
I Married the Perfect A-hole
Mike recently had his first colonoscopy. Calm down. He is fine. I, the heroine of this blog, am still totally screwed up. Like I. Have. Seeeeeen. Things. People. The day …
It’s Never Too Late to Follow Your Dreams
A second later my phone dinged again. “PORN. Your blog is covered with porn!” I nodded. Ah-hah, there were the synapses I was looking for! This strangely made more sense to me now. Of course a wholesome Mormon’s phone would autocorrect to “poems.” I quickly clicked on my website while simultaneously pressing on the gas to get home. I am admittedly not a great connoisseur of porn, but that there was definitely Asian porn. I had been hacked.
