Yesterday, I finished working out with #PaleoJesus (my personal trainer, to whom I awarded this moniker after I decided he probably adhered to a strict Paleo diet and is totes …

I only have one boob. This is completely indicative of my personality even in utero. Like I guarantee fetus me was super-duper focused on designing my future tits. And then …
Mike recently had his first colonoscopy. Calm down. He is fine. I, the heroine of this blog, am still totally screwed up. Like I. Have. Seeeeeen. Things. People. The day …
A second later my phone dinged again. “PORN. Your blog is covered with porn!” I nodded. Ah-hah, there were the synapses I was looking for! This strangely made more sense to me now. Of course a wholesome Mormon’s phone would autocorrect to “poems.” I quickly clicked on my website while simultaneously pressing on the gas to get home. I am admittedly not a great connoisseur of porn, but that there was definitely Asian porn. I had been hacked.